CHRISTY ESSIEN-IGBOKWE'S FIRST SON, OBIORA, WEDS

Obiora and Onyinye Igbokwe

After surviving the shock of losing their beloved mother some months ago, two of the four biological sons of the late Lady of Songs, Chief Mrs. Christy Essien-Igbokwe, recently got married.

The first to go was Chinwuba “Kaka” Igbokwe, the second son who is a music producer. He got married to Miss Chioma Ebubedike on Saturday, October 8, 2011 at the Archbishop Vining Memorial Cathedral, GRA, Ikeja , Lagos while the first son, Obiora Chukwuemeka, an architect,  recently got married to Miss Onyinye Madubobi, an engineer, who hails from the Okpuno Village, Otolo Nnewi in Anambra State. The Traditional Wedding had taken place in the wife’s village on Monday, September 19, 2011 while the white wedding held on Friday, December 30, 2011 at St. Faith Church, Awka Anambra State.

Here are pictures some pictures from the wedding..

with dad, Edwin Igbokwe

making the vows

signing the marriage register

with officiating priests

Bride and Chief Bridesmaid

Groom with Bestman & Pageboy

with the Bridal Train

with the Groomsmen

All together

with their families

George and Kaka

with me

Then their interviews and lovestory..

OBI IS EVERYTHING I WANTED IN A MAN AND MORE – WIFE

Tell us a bit about your childhood.

I was born in Awka but I didn’t stay there for a long time because my

Mom was a teacher and we had to move to a new place whenever she got a

transfer. But we had to finally move back to Nnewi when she retired in

1993. I then had my Primary School education in Nnewi, first, at Good

Shepherd Nursery and Primary School before transferring to Divine

Nursery and Primary School when I got to Primary Three. It was a new

school then and we were the pioneer set. I went on to Federal

Government Girls College Ibusa, Delta State in 1999 and got into the

university in 2005. I studied Electrical Engineering and majored in

Electrical Power Systems. I finished school last year and started

working immediately in Edo State.

How many kids are there in your family?

I’m actually an only child. I’m the only child of my mother but I have

four step-brothers and a sister. I grew up with my mom and my Grand

mom and I never got to meet my dad before he died.

How did you meet Obiora?

(Takes a deep breath and exhales) It’s quite an unbelievable tale; we

met through face book. A lot of people send me messages on face book

and I ignore as many of them as possible. But that particular message

from Obi struck me. It simply said, “Hey, what’s up with you?” I

didn’t know who he was but I replied and told him I was fine. That was

how it started and we exchanged a lot of messages like that until it

got to the point where I always looked forward to telling him about my

day.

What really struck me about him was that he wasn’t trying to “chyke”

me or play smart or invite me to his place or one thing or the other.

He really stood out. He was that kind of person that I could really

talk to. I didn’t really know him but I could talk to him about things

bothering me and we would trash out the issues. I wasn't really

bothered because I never thought I was going to meet him so I was very

comfortable discussing different stuffs with him.

This started around August or September 2010 and we went on like that

until one day in October when we exchanged email addresses and chatted

till about 2am in the morning. It struck me that he hadn’t even asked

me for my number and I asked him, “Why haven’t you asked for my

number?” He then said that I could give it to him. I gave him my

number and he called me.

After that day, he didn’t stalk me; he called me at appropriate times

and we kept on talking like friends. We gradually grew closer and I

kept on pushing guys away from me because I was trying to be good for

him even when we hadn’t even met. It wasn’t until January that I came

to Lagos.

I left Lagos after completing what I came to do. When he got back from

India in February, he came to Enugu for some meetings and I went to

meet him from Nnewi. He then invited me to Lagos to meet his parents

and that was when I met you here.

You guys seem to have done everything fast…

Yes it may seem so. People have actually requested for my hand in

marriage before but I declined all their requests because it didn't

feel right. I was always afraid; I was always quitting at the last

moment but this time around I was very sure of what I was doing and

when you are sure about something, it doesn’t take a lot of time.

The only thing that could have taken time was if I needed to be sure

about being sure of him. I was sceptical at some point because I’ve

never really heard people talking about getting a hundred percent of

what they want, but here I got that and even more. Obi has more than a

hundred percent of what I want.

So what was it you wanted?

He has everything. He’s educated; he’s a gentleman; he’s caring; he’s

drop dead gorgeous; he’s cool and he’s very good at what he does. He’s

a professional. If you see him doing his architectural designs, you

would understand what I’m saying. I’m a very vast person and I like to

be with a guy who knows more than I do in his field; someone I can

look up to and ask questions; someone that can teach me and believe me

that’s a very hard role to fit in to. Obi fit into all of this very

well. He’s a very humble person and funny too. He’s everything.

I’m a hand fetish and he has the most beautiful hands I’ve ever seen. That actually drew me to him. When a guy is talking to me, the first thing I look at are the hands, then the mouth. You might be very ugly, but if you have nice hands, a fine mouth, nice teeth and you r smart, then I can actually talk to you. I do this because I know that everything ends up somewhere and you would want to hold me. If I don’t like your hands, I won’t let you put them on me. Obi’s got very fine lips, in fact, that’s the first thing I noticed in the picture. His lips are pinkly red.

What were the other things once he scaled these first hurdles?

I like the fact that he supports me. It’s not everybody that would

want to be with a career woman and I’m one. I believe that I’m a very

good engineer and the world would get to hear about me soon. In this

life, there are people who are meant to be great but they marry the

wrong people and their dreams die, because if your husband is not

supportive, you won’t go out of your way to do things. It’s just like

mommy (Christy Essien), if she didn’t have Daddy, she won’t have gone

as far as she did. You know why? Daddy was her biggest fan and

supported her all the way even till now.

Obi is very supportive of my career because here, it’s not easy being

a woman engineer and a Power engineer at that. It’s not just software,

it’s physical. After doing his architectural designs, he also does

most of my electrical designs too and I believe that I will always

learn new things from him. He’s also very supportive of my family. My

mom took to him immediately she saw him and that is not an easy thing

to achieve because the people she likes for me are not the ones I like

and the ones I like, she doesn’t like them. But this time, there was a

mutual agreement on Obi. She bonded with him and that’s very important

for me because she is one of the most important things in my life

right now.

Did you know Obi was Christy Essien-Igbokwe’s son when you met him on face book?

When someone adds me on face book, I first checkout the friends we

have in common and his profile before I accept. When I checked, I

found out that I didn’t really know him personally but I saw that he

was an architect and his messages were very polite. I saw that he was

Christy Essien’s son but I felt that anyone could have put that and I

didn’t really attach much importance to it. So it wasn’t really about

his parents or something else.

Did you know a lot about Christy Essien-Igbokwe before you met your husband?

Not really, the name struck a chord but that was all. Most of the

songs I later got to know were hers, I used to think they were done by

Onyeka Onwenu. Then I heard her name in Faze’s “Originality” and that

was all.  I didn’t really know much about her before I met Obi.

I did get to speak to her before I came to see the family in Lagos. I

stayed for about a month when I got here in April. The first thing she

did when I got here was to call my mom and tell her that I was in her

house. And in that time I got to know a lot about her and found out

that she was a very down to earth person and that really humbled me.

I’m really glad that I spent that time with, no matter how short it

was because the next time I came, she was already in the hospital and

died two days afterwards.

How are you coping with trying to fill into some of her roles?

I just got here and we are all trying our best to do some of the

things only one person did before. Our major priority now is Daddy

because he is the most hit by what happened we are all doing as much

as we can to lessen the shock and the grief on him. She did a lot of

cooking, in fact, she did all the cooking here and that might be a

tough act to follow but I will try my best to be a good sister to the

brothers, a good daughter to Daddy and take good care of my husband.

I WANTED SOMEONE WITH MY MOM’S QUALITIES – OBIORA

What attracted you to your wife?

I had been talking to my wife since last year but only met her early
this year. I noticed she had this very rare quality in her – she
understands people, is very patient, very homely and very intelligent.
She also had many hidden qualities that kept on popping up now and
then. You don’t get that in girls every day or in everyday girls.

Was it when you met her physically that you noticed all this?
No, even before then. She was just all I imagined she would be and
even more and I told her that. She acted the way she usually did when
we talked on the phone and exactly the way she was when we chatted on
the net.

Were there particular qualities you were searching for in your wife?
I was never really specific in what I wanted, there was nothing really
specific there. I lost my mom a few months ago and I have always known
that if I was going to marry anybody, it must be someone with some of
the qualities of my mom. It has to be someone my mom would see and be
impressed with. I eternally believe in God because man proposes and
God disposes.
You could give God different specifications for a wife and at the end
of the day, when you get that, it might still not be what you want. I
just wanted someone that I would be proud to say she is like my mother
because at the end of the day, your wife becomes your mother. When we
got to know ourselves a lot better, I realized that she was all I
wanted.
Even before she came, I made sure she spoke with my mom and my
brothers and they were all eager to meet her by the time she finally
arrived. Everyone that met her had good things to say about her and
I’m very happy that she was accepted by everyone that matters to me.

Before your mom died, did you tell her that this was who you wanted to marry?
I was a bit afraid of marriage. Not because I didn’t want to enter the
institution of marriage but because I didn’t really understand it. I
first told my mom she was going to meet the person I was going out
with and she said, “Ok, I’m waiting.” I was very scared about their
meeting but after some time my mom asked me if I was serious about her
and I told her that I was. She said she just wanted to confirm because
she likes her. But I really didn’t tell my mom about marriage because
I didn’t really get the chance to do so but she knew I really liked my
wife.

Would you say that your mom’s death contributed to you making up your
mind faster about marriage?
I believe that I was always going to marry my wife, what I can’t say
is whether my mom’s death mad me make up my mind faster. Maybe somehow
it did but this is what I believe was always going to happen even if
my Mother was still alive today.

How have you been coping since you mom’s death?
It has not been easy. Sometimes you wake up and you feel it’s a dream
that maybe something would change and you will see her again. Maybe
she could come out to say that it was just a joke but then, you
actually see the reality that she is not coming back that all you have
are memories. You remember all the things she used to do and that she
is no longer there to do them and you find it really hard to take.
The most hit here is my dad because this is someone he has lived most
of his life with; she has been his companion, his best friend, partner
and adviser. It’s not easy waking up and the person is no longer there
with you. It’s not been easy for us but I thank God that some months
after that that we are learning to live with it.

Being the first some, how did you organize the family during that period?
We all tried our best to look after each other and do the things that
mom would have done for us. Because she had already told us a long
time ago that we should be very careful because when she leaves us
that we might find it very hard to assign roles to ourselves. But we
thank God everything was sorted out. Our main priority is just taking
care of our dad because he was the most shocked. We were shocked too
but if everyone broke down, it wouldn’t be fine and my mom won’t be
happy about it. It’s not easy but we thank God.

What are some of the things you miss most about her?
Her cooking. My mom always cooked for the whole family no matter what
happened. For my dad, she was the one that took care of most of the
office work while he did the field work. Then her candid advice. She
was the one that advised us on most things and when she left, we felt
a big part of us went with her. We thank God we are learning to cope
and to manage the wisdom she left for us. Any situation we find
ourselves in, we always think about what she would tell us do and the
things she taught us.

There was this story that your mom had told you people about her
death, did it actually happen and how did you feel about it?
It’s true; it happened. She said she had half a century to live. She
didn’t only tell us her children, she also told some of her friends
because when they came here they confirmed to us that she said
something like that to them also. But you know, something you hear
consistently, you just feel it’s just her way of gaining your
attention and making you sit up. We didn’t really take her seriously.
Even when she celebrated her 50th birthday, she made a comment saying
" This is the last birthday I would celebrate". Ten days to when she
died, she was still very healthy, so no one took her seriously. And it
is almost un-human for someone to know when the end would come so we
just felt it was a way of making us sit up.
I never believed her for once because it’s something I remember her
telling us even when I was a teenager. So it’s not something that
happened today. I just thank God that she lived a good life. Some
people could live a hundred years and still have nothing to show for
it, she made good use of her time here on earth and I am happy about
it.

The initial story we had was that she was going to be buried in Lagos
because she wanted it so, how did the burial place then change to
Awka?
The truth is that it never changed. We have always wanted it to be in
Awka but the shock of the whole thing disturbed everyone. We initially
felt that since we were still living in Lagos, that we should first
bury her here in Lagos and then towards the end when we are going back
home that we would go with her but on a second thought, we felt that
if the end was going to be in the east, it was better we buried her
there at once for her soul to rest in peace. The plan has always been
to bury her in Awka.

She didn’t make any special request about where she wanted to be buried?
I remember one day I was talking with her when she made all those
references about when she dies and she said something about being
buried in the village and I asked, “Is it in your own village or in
Daddy’s village,” and she replied that it should be in her marriage
place. And that is the custom.

Kaka also got married, was that the plan?
Almost two years ago, Kaka had asked me when I wanted to get married
and I told him I didn’t know. He said he wanted to know so that he can
get married after me, but I told him to go ahead if he was ready
because I didn’t have anyone in mind then. But as God would have it, I
met my wife and here we are today. I thank God everything worked out
fine.

Kaka had already planned about his marriage that far back but mine was
a bit funny because I told my wife’s mother first that I wanted to
marry her daughter before I proposed to my wife. Then I’m not really a
romantic person and I owe my wife a real proposal because I didn’t
even give her a ring but she accepted me.
At the time I proposed to her, I was in a place where I couldn’t get a
ring. But I have promised her a more organized proposal before the
D-Day.